WARNING: Text may contain sensitive content for some readers

As a parent and caregiver, it can be difficult to know how to approach the topic of self-harm with your teen. Self-harm is an incredibly serious issue that needs to be taken seriously and addressed in a sensitive manner. Self-harm, also known as non-suicidal self injury (NSSI), can involve such methods as cutting, scratching, burning, skin picking, hair pulling, banging or punching the head and/or other parts of the body, and more. As the name suggests, NSSI is intentional, yet the purpose is often to relieve tension, feel grounded, and/or deal with emotional pain, and is not always an attempt to kill oneself. However, more than half of people who die by suicide had a history of self-harm, which is why it is so important to talk about it openly.

The first step in talking about self-harm with your teen is trying to create an open dialogue between you and them. Make sure they feel as comfortable as they can in expressing their thoughts and feelings without judgement or criticism from you. Remember, you do not have to agree in order to listen and validate their feelings or interpretation of the situation. Letting them express themselves freely will help create a safe space for further conversations about this delicate subject matter down the road.

Jumping in to offering solutions or advice before having a better understanding of the issues can often backfire and create disconnection. Remember, if you are doing all of the talking, then you are not learning about them.

It’s also important for parents to understand why teens might engage in self-harming behaviors, as well as any underlying issues that may have caused these actions, such as depression, anxiety, severe stress, or trauma-related experiences. It’s also essential for parents not only to listen, but actively empathize with their teens, so they feel heard during these difficult times. Jumping in to offering solutions or advice before having a better understanding of the issues can often backfire and create disconnection. Remember, if you are doing all of the talking, then you are not learning about them.

 Once both parties are on the same page regarding understanding why someone engages in NSSI, then it’s time start discussing potential solutions together – whether that means seeking professional help through therapy, finding healthy outlets such as exercise, art or music, or a hobby, and/or addressing the areas of stress that are leading to your teen feeling overwhelmed in the first place. Parents need to provide support throughout this process by offering words of encouragement along way, while still setting boundaries when necessary.

At the end of the day, it’s crucial to remember that there is no “one size fits all” solution when it comes to addressing issues pertaining to mental health, especially amongst teens. Continue to provide love, guidance, and support, and follow up with your teen’s primary care provider or therapist (if they already have one) if you have any concerns.