The holidays can be a wonderful time for family, fun, and festivities, but they can also be a source of stress for teens, especially if expectations from family or friends don’t match up with their own. As parents and caregivers, it’s important to help support our teens manage the holiday season in healthy ways so that they can enjoy the holidays without feeling overwhelmed by them.

As a parent and caregiver, it can be difficult to know how to approach the topic of self-harm with your teen. Self-harm is an incredibly serious issue that needs to be taken seriously and addressed in a sensitive manner. Self-harm, also known as non-suicidal self injury (NSSI), can involve such methods as cutting, scratching, burning, skin picking, hair pulling, banging or punching the head and/or other parts of the body, and more. As the name suggests, NSSI is intentional, yet the purpose is often to relieve tension, feel grounded, and/or deal with emotional pain, and is not always an attempt to kill oneself. However, more than half of people who die by suicide had a history of self-harm, which is why it is so important to talk about it openly.

One way to help your teen manage holiday stress is by being mindful of how much you expect from them during this time of year. While it may seem like there are endless activities and events happening, try not to put too much pressure on your teen when it comes to participating in everything that comes up — it might be more beneficial for them (and less stressful) if you allow some flexibility with their schedule over these few weeks instead. Talk clearly and explicitly about your expectations of them, and seek to find out their own expectations. This can reduce the potential conflict that often comes when we make too many assumptions about how things will go without first checking in about it. For example, teens may be looking forward to the holidays to take a break from their busy schedules and the grind of school by sleeping in and engaging in pleasurable activities; parents may be expecting that their teens work to keep a rigid schedule over the break, get caught up on any missing work, and spend much more time socializing with family.

While it may seem like there are endless activities and events happening, try not to put too much pressure on your teen when it comes to participating in everything that comes up — it might be more beneficial for them (and less stressful) if you allow some flexibility with their schedule over these few weeks instead.

Another helpful tip is encouraging open communication between yourself and your teen about any worries or concerns they have surrounding the upcoming holidays. Talking openly about potential sources of anxiety, grief or loss, and feeling overwhelmed, as this will help ensure that both parties feel heard. Parents can be very effective role models for how this looks, and can normalize talking about feelings and what contributes to having those feelings. Additionally, make sure you take breaks throughout each day where everyone has downtime away from all things related to the festivities. This could include going out together as a family for walks, or just spending some peaceful moments at home doing something calming, such as yoga, reading books, playing games, or listening to music

 Finally – remember that self-care should always come first when dealing with holiday stress. Encourage your teen to find little moments here and there to practice mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing exercises, which can help them relax and feel more grounded during a potentially overwhelming time. Support your teen by discussing expectations and plans, and try to incorporate choice as much as possible. Together, you can work to reduce the stress that comes with the holidays, and truly make it a time to focus on health, wellbeing, and togetherness.