As teens and young adults, it can be difficult to navigate the complex emotions that come with growing up. There’s a constant bombardment of messages from society telling you how you should feel, act, or think in order to fit into certain expectations. One way to not lose sight of yourself along the way is by learning how to self-validate. This helps to develop emotional intelligence and build resilience for the future.

Self-validation means recognizing your own thoughts, beliefs, values, opinions, needs, and feelings as being valid without relying on external validation from others, such as through seeking approval. It involves taking responsibility for your own emotions and behaviors rather than blaming outside circumstances, and understanding that even if other people don’t agree with you or understand what you’re going through, it doesn’t make your experiences any less real or meaningful. It also involves accepting yourself unconditionally, despite mistakes made in the past, while building enough trust in yourself to make decisions based on what’s best for you instead of trying please everyone else. Lastly, it involves setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, so that you can protect yourself emotionally, while still maintaining meaningful relationships with those closest to you.

In order to learn how to self-validate effectively there are a few steps you can take: Firstly, try engaging in mindfulness practices, such as meditation, which will help you become more aware of your inner voice – this is key when it comes to validating yourself since it allows you to better identify patterns within your thinking processes, which may not always serve you well (e.g. negative thought loops). Try acknowledging and naming the emotions that you are experiencing as well, as this can give you some clues as to what is coming up for you.

It involves taking responsibility for your own emotions and behaviors rather than blaming outside circumstances, and understanding that even if other people don’t agree with you or understand what you’re going through, it doesn’t make your experiences any less real or meaningful.

Secondly, practice radical acceptance – this means embracing whatever situation or emotion arises without judgement, and acknowledging its presence objectively before deciding on a course of action. Remember, you don’t have to “like” the situation, yet allowing yourself to experience the moment for what it is can give you some key insights into your goals and values, and even help you engage in creative problem solving if needed.

 Lastly, challenge perfectionist tendencies – strive for excellence, not perfectionism. Seek instead to understand where your feelings, thoughts, or behaviors are coming from. Ask yourself what those emotions are trying to get you to pay attention to at this point in time. Try to remind yourself that we all make mistakes, and – even though we can’t change it – we can try to use them constructively by reflecting on the lessons learned afterwards.

By practicing these steps, and making sure that you take the time to practice, you will soon find yourself becoming better equipped at dealing with challenging situations and feelings. You may also begin to feel more confident in yourself, which in turn allows you to live more authentically.