As a teen or young adult, learning how to self-advocate can be an invaluable skill that will serve you well throughout your life. Self-advocacy is the ability to speak up for yourself and express your needs in order to get what you want or need from others. It’s also about taking responsibility for yourself, and understanding when it’s necessary to stand up for what matters most – even if it means going against the grain of popular opinion.

Self-advocacy starts with knowing more about who you are, understanding your values, and setting and maintaining personal boundaries, so that people are less likely to take advantage of you. When faced with a difficult situation, such as asking someone out, or talking back at school bullies, practice asserting yourself by expressing how you feel and what it is that you are asking for from that person. It is more effective – and increases the likelihood of us getting what we want – when we avoid judgmental language, threats, or dismissing other people’s feelings. This works by fostering mutual respect between parties involved, while still getting your point across effectively; you don’t have to be aggressive or passive aggressive, as this often undermines your position in the long run.

When faced with a difficult situation, such as asking someone out, or talking back at school bullies, practice asserting yourself by expressing how you feel and what it is that you are asking for from that person.

 Additionally, try not to shy away from difficult situations, conflict, or difference in opinion. These things can make a lot of people feel uncomfortable or anxious, so it might be worth practicing saying “No” or asking for things ahead of time if you find this a difficult thing to do. Remind yourself of your values and specific goals in these situations, as we often start “people pleasing” as a way to avoid potential conflict. We may over apologize, pretend to agree when we don’t, or fail to let other people know when our feelings are hurt.

 Another way you can develop your self advocacy skills is by engaging in activities outside of your comfort zone – such as joining clubs that you find interesting or actively listening before speaking up during conversations with peers, teachers, or parents. Remember, you do not have to agree, and the other person cannot read your mind. This will help you gain insight into different perspectives, and let others know more about your own values and opinions. Finally, don’t forget that working to build confidence in yourself can increase your ability to self advocate more effectively. With practice comes improvement!