As parents, it can be difficult to navigate the tricky waters of helping our teens set and maintain boundaries. We want to give them the freedom they need to explore their identity and independence, while also ensuring that they are safe and making responsible decisions. Here are some tips for helping your teen establish healthy boundaries:

1. Talk about expectations – It’s important for both you and your teen to have a clear understanding of what is expected from each other when it comes to setting limits or establishing rules. No one likes last minute surprises, especially after assumptions have been made about how things will go. Have an open conversation with your teen about what kind of behavior is acceptable in different situations, such as at home, school, or out with friends, so there aren’t any surprises down the line if something happens that violates those expectations. It can also be helpful to talk about the consequences ahead of time and how these are the natural and logical consequences of breaking the rules.

2. Respect their autonomy – While we may not always agree with our teens’ choices or decisions, it’s important that we respect their right as individuals to make those choices on their own without interference from us unless absolutely necessary (i.e. safety concerns). This will help foster a sense of trust between parent and teen, which can go a long way towards successful boundary-setting later on in life. It is less effective to try to get our teens to do what we think they should do in a situation, and more effective to help them explore possible choices and the impact that may come with their decisions.

Jumping in to offering solutions or advice before having a better understanding of the issues can often backfire and create disconnection. Remember, if you are doing all of the talking, then you are not learning about them.

3. Encourage self-reflection – Asking questions like, “How do you think this decision might affect others?” or, “What could happen if you don’t follow through?” can help encourage critical thinking skills, which will come in handy when trying times arise where tough decisions must be made quickly without parental guidance present. Additionally, these conversations allow us insight into how our teens view themselves within society and helps us better understand how best we can support them moving forward.

 4. Model positive behaviors – Teens still learn by example, so demonstrating appropriate behavior yourself sets an excellent example and demonstrates effective problem solving skills. Practicing mindfulness, acting in accordance with your values, acting as skillfully and effectively as you can when communicating, all show valuable lessons worth emulating!

5. Practice patience – Establishing and maintaining personal boundaries isn’t easy even under ideal circumstances, but especially during adolescence where hormones run rampant and emotions tend fluctuate frequently. Don’t expect instantaneous results, yet rather lead by example and let things slowly take shape over time.