As parents and caregivers, it can be difficult to watch our teens struggle with the pressures of school and managing their stress levels. With so many demands on their time, and competing pulls for their attention, it’s no wonder that teens often feel overwhelmed and anxious when trying to juggle academics, extracurricular activities, friendships, and more.

Often when they get to high school there are also greater expectations, and assumptions that they already know all of the necessary skills for managing stress and functioning at optimal levels. This is certainly not the case, and those assumptions can lead to some very harmful outcomes.

Fortunately there are a few strategies we can use to help our teens manage school-related stress in more healthy and effective ways. Here are some tips for helping your teen build mastery and competency when it comes to managing their stress:

1) Encourage them to prioritize tasks – Helping your teen organize their workload by creating a list of priorities is an effective way for them learn how best manage their time efficiently, while also reducing anxiety over looming deadlines or tests. It also helps if you offer support along the way by providing reminders about upcoming due dates or exams—just don’t do all the work for them! Sometimes, teens severely underestimate the time that it will take to accomplish certain tasks, so helping your teen better understand how (realistically) long it takes to finish a task can aid them in their time management skills.

Teens will be more likely to come to you again in the future if you can show them that they will not be punished for asking for help.

 2) Model effective stress management habits – As adults, we know that how we handle stressful situations sets an example for our teens; this goes double when it comes to teaching teenagers healthy coping skills during times of high pressure or distress. Make sure you practice what you preach by taking breaks from work throughout the day, as well as encouraging the setting aside of dedicated “me-time” each week. This helps reinforce the message that we are much more productive and capable when we address our emotional wellbeing. Talking out loud about how you will take a break, spend some time to get organized, or celebrate the progress you made towards a goal shows teens that these are normal and acceptable things to do.

 3) Talk openly about feelings – Open communication between parents and teens is key in order to successfully navigate through tough times together. Try to make sure your teen feels comfortable talking with you about any worries that they may have – whether that is about grades, falling behind in a class, or difficulties in relationships. It is helpful to reward and reinforce this behavior and let them know that you are proud of them for saying something to you, rather than jumping into anger or telling them that they “should” have done something earlier. This will allow both parties involved to come up solutions, which can reduce overall levels of anxiety and stress. Teens will be more likely to come to you again in the future if you can show them that they will not be punished for asking for help.
 

4) Suggest relaxation techniques – Deep breathing exercises, yoga stretches, mindfulness meditation, taking walks, progressive muscle relaxation, spending quality time with friends and family —these are just some of the tools available which encourage relaxation responses within the body. Suggest these activities whenever possible as an effective way de-stress after a long day of studying or sitting in class. Try not to get frustrated or start making demands if your teen doesn’t jump at these suggestions, as it can be taken as a punishment rather than a self care activity. Instead, keep inviting them to join you for walks or to the gym, or to come along with you when you have planned to do something enjoyable. The important thing is not whether they go with you, but that you asked!